An essential part of being an adult involves taking responsibility for ourselves. This means making conscious, empowered choices on our own behalf. Children aren't capable of doing this because they are too unformed and helpless to understand or deal with all the things happening to them. Children need the adults in their lives to care...

Our feelings about our parents can be very complicated. Some of what we feel depends on how they treated us when we were growing up as well as how they treat us today. Sometimes, we just go along with what our culture or society tells us we should feel. If we have loving, supportive parents, the issue is quite simple: we love them...

Recently, I found myself sitting with a patient Elsa, who was crying inconsolably in my office. It turns out that her sister had stolen her inheritance out from under her. It wasn't the loss of the money that was making her feel so devastated, though; it was the shocking betrayal by her only sibling. Elsa's sister Joyce had gotten...

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is a constellation of symptoms which results from the experience of extreme trauma. Traditionally, it's been seen as something which arises after exposure to warfare, natural disasters, motor vehicle accidents or physical assault. Due to the recent events in Iraq and Afghanistan, the condition is becoming...

You probably already know this: there is no diet out there that actually works. Maybe you've tried one or more of them, and when they failed you blamed yourself. Well, it's time to let yourself off the hook. Dieting, by it's nature, can't possibly work. Dieting merely deals with a symptom (over-eating) and not with the real problem,...

I disagree with the disease model of addiction and with the idea that people are powerless against their addictions. Whether someone is an alcoholic, drug-addict, or compulsive eater, gambler or shopper, addiction is not a disease but a choice, albeit a dysfunctional one. Let me explain: In my professional experience, the 12-step model,...

What is Ruthless Compassion? It's living with greater clarity; being responsible for yourself & your dependents but no-one else; it's holding yourself accountable for your choices & actions; being empowerment in relationships, in school & at work. It's not being afraid to say how you feel & ask for what you want in...

Ruthless Compassion is a philosophy which brings together two seemingly-contradictory concepts. It combines the loving-kindness of compassion with the fierceness of the warrior, and this is exactly why it works. Many of us today misunderstand compassion as an attitude of "niceness," where we feel obliged to take care of others at our...

There are a few basic truths which you should be aware of if you want a successful relationship. Having this knowledge will enable you to transform a mediocre relationship into something deeply satisfying. Although these truths are founded in common-sense, it's as though they've been forever locked away in a vault for only the lucky few...

Friendship, like many other things in life, often has an expiration date. There are some friends who stay with us for our entire life, but there are also many friends who come into our life and stay there only for a certain amount of time. Through our lives, we grow and change. Ideally, our friends will grow and change with us. As...