10 Life Hacks For the “New Normal” in the Pandemic

It’s 2020 and even though we’re all dealing with the horrors of Covid-19, including the illness and loss of loved ones, the hardships of social distancing and the ongoing economic uncertainty, life still goes on and right now, we need all the skills we can get.

In these ever more challenging times it doesn’t hurt to contemplate some important life lessons that we can adopt today and make use of, moving forward.

Here are the first 10 of my essential life hacks for the “new normal” in the pandemic:

1. You can’t change anyone. A person won’t change because you love them, or because you’re good to them. They’ll change only if they’re willing and able to do so (and often, only with long-term professional help). If you’re not happy with the other person’s behaviour, decide if you can or cannot live with it and then act accordingly.

2. Know your deal-breakers and your necessities. In every relationship there are some things you don’t like but you can live with and there are the deal-breakers. You should never have to tolerate the deal-breakers. Also, in every relationship there are some things you can live without and there are the absolute necessities. You should never allow yourself to go without the necessities.

3. Stop complaining, start taking action. Complaining is a terrible way of dealing with your problems. It’s toxic to the people you’re complaining to and it’s totally unhelpful for you. If you have a problem, you need to deal with it and stop complaining about it.

4. Love relationships should do three things: They should make you happy more often than not; they should bring out the best in you, and they should make you feel good about yourself. If all three aren’t present in your relationship, you need to walk away.

5. You get to choose your friends. They should be on the same wavelength as you; fun to be with, caring and supportive. If these things are absent and/or if there’s a lot of drama, stress or confusion, you can just as easily un-choose these friends and find some better ones.

6. People-pleasing always backfires. When you’re trying so hard to please, you’re being inauthentic and so you aren’t seen for who you really are or aren’t valued for who you are. Also, rather than encouraging approval, people-pleasing fosters disrespect, exploitation and mistreatment.

7. Stop asking “why?” It doesn’t matter why someone has done something hurtful to you. It matters how their actions have affected you. You don’t need to figure out why the other person acted this way; you just need to know what you felt and then go ahead and take care of yourself.

8. Life is not a popularity contest. What other people think about you is their problem. Besides, kind, reasonable people will never judge you harshly and unreasonable jerks always will. You don’t need to worry about what the kind people say because they’ll always be kind. And you don’t need to worry about what the jerks say because they’ll always be jerks.

9. Experts shouldn’t be hypocrites. Never take life advice from people whose lives are a mess. People who advise you should walk the walk and not just talk the talk. If the so-called “expert” is unhappy, unhealthy or in trouble in any way, reconsider taking their advice.

10. Stop waiting for understanding. You don’t need someone to understand or approve of your reasons for ending the relationship. Whatever your reasons, it’s enough that this is how you feel. You just need to be clear to the other person, so that there’s no confusion that you’re ending things. You’re free to walk away from any relationship if it’s that’s what you want. Whether they get it or are okay with it really doesn’t matter.

Check out my article for 10 more life hacks for the “new normal” in this pandemic.

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