The Trouble With Being “Nice”

  • Marilyn1953

    Good article showing the difference between ‘kind and nice.’ Being n
    ice doesn’t give you a good feeling. Being kind does.

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  • producer

    thank you very much. Formerly nice. Now kind.
    I am understanding myself better. Thank you.

  • Elaine

    I am a person who has been both a nice person and a kind person. My kindness and compassion for others has not sprung from good self esteem, but rather very little of it and a lot of suffering from abuse and depression. Out of this suffering has sprung an openness and sensitivity to the myriad ways others suffer. I do not run from the suffering of others or ignore it. I am not afraid of it as are many of the nice people in my life and I do not brush it under the carpet as they do. I think to oversimplify the traits of kind people by saying they are happy and have good self esteem does a disservice to those of us who arrive at a place of increased compassion and generosity because we have suffered too and this suffering has refined us rather than render us incapable of being kind and generous to others. I do not believe the depth of my understanding for the suffering of others would be as developed as it is without having experienced devastating suffering myself. I recognize that this is not true of everyone, but it is also not true that all people who are happy and have good self esteem are also kind, compassionate and generous.

    Elaine