The holiday season comes with a lot of expectations. We’re supposed to be happy and social and surrounded by loved ones. We’re supposed to eat big meals, exchange gifts and make merry. But not everyone is up for all of this. A lot of people feel stressed this time of year, whether or not they’re looking forward to the festivities.

Stress makes it easier to lose sight of what’s good for us and it makes it harder to engage in self-care.

When we’re stressed we can get into some counter-productive coping strategies like overindulging in food and drink, escaping into drugs, staying up too late or having arguments with family members.

It’s important during the holiday season to be mindful and tuned in to our needs and feelings. Otherwise, when we’re thrown together with friends and family members and feeling pressured to buy the perfect gifts or cook the perfect meals it can spoil the season for us.

Staying self-aware over the holiday season requires a bit of effort but it’s not all that difficult. It starts with choosing to be mindful right now. It means tuning in to our feelings and our needs every day, and asking ourselves the most important question:

“How can I take the best care of myself in this moment?”

For extroverts, the holidays can be an exciting time, with all the opportunities to socialize, but there’s the risk of overdoing it and paying a price afterward. We all know about that fun-loving colleague who got a bit too drunk at the holiday party and made a fool of themselves in front of the boss. What can an extrovert do to avoid getting carried away each year?

For introverts, the increased expectations of socializing can make the holidays that much more uncomfortable. We all have that one relative who self-medicates their social anxiety with alcohol or tranquilizers every holiday season. What can an introvert do over the holidays to stay calm and not turn to counter-productive coping strategies?

Being self-aware helps us to approach the holidays with our best foot forward, regardless of whether we look forward to socializing or we’d rather be in our pajamas, watching Netflix and eating ice cream.

Being self-aware means understanding what we like and what we don’t like. If we tune in and understand that we’re an extrovert with a tendency to go overboard with the celebrating, we can pay attention to how much we drink at the holiday parties and avoid any post-party embarrassment.

If we tune in to ourselves and recognize that we’re more introverted and that holiday parties bring out our anxieties, we can carefully pick and choose the parties we’re going to attend, take some calming breaths before every social occasion, and stay for only as long as we’re still enjoying ourselves.

If you’re someone who tends to feel down over the holidays, either because you had bad holiday experiences in the past, because you tend to get depressed this time of year, or because you don’t celebrate Christmas and you feel left out of the fun, you can tune in to your feelings and needs and consider the different things you can do to make yourself feel better.

Hindus, Jews and other non-Christians decide to make their own family traditions, such as volunteering at a soup kitchen on Christmas day or going out for Chinese food on Christmas Eve. If you know what makes you happy and what makes you feel stressed, you’re empowered to avoid the most stressful parts of the holiday season and focus on the things that work best for you and your family.

If this time of year is a downer for you because you have depression associated with the season, or if the holidays happen to coincide with a painful divorce or a death in the family, self-awareness means recognizing that this time of year is hard for you and making the effort to really take care of yourself. This could include going for some counseling or therapy to help you get through the season.

The holidays bring family members together for extended periods of time and it can be unpleasant to spend hours with an alcoholic aunt or a snarky cousin, a creepy uncle or a one-upping sibling.

You might end up overeating to dull the pain or even get sucked into arguments that are best avoided.

When you take the time to tune in to your feelings and needs, you recognize how uncomfortable these relatives make you feel. You become empowered to opt for solutions that make things easier for you. For example, you can sit at the other end of the dinner table from that problematic relative and avoid getting drawn into fruitless discussions. Self-awareness makes it so much easier to cope.

Being self-aware is important all year round but it’s most especially important at the times of the year that bring you the most stress.

Even though for many people, the holidays are a happy time, there’s still a lot of added stress and there are still risks of losing your center and getting into trouble. Self-awareness will minimize these risks and make the season the best it can be for you and your loved ones.