Once again, Christmas has come and gone. How did it go for you this year? Are you filled with happy memories of a joyful holiday season or are you sad that it’s all over? Are you perhaps bitter that Christmas didn’t go the way you were hoping, or are you feeling positively relieved that it’s all behind you?
As I discussed in my recent CBC radio interview, when it comes to Christmas, people feel all sorts of different ways. Where do you stand?
Some people look forward to Christmas and make the most of their time spent with friends and family. They come back from the holidays with a smile on their face and a spring in their step.
Some people are really excited in the lead-up to Christmas but if they have unrealistic expectations of what the holidays should bring and these expectations aren’t met their excitement can quickly turn into bitterness.
Some people dread the holidays for reasons of their own. Many of them are relieved when it’s all over, but for some, if this year they happened to have a good time over Christmas, they might start to feel differently about it in the future.
So, why do people have such different reactions to Christmas? It depends on their past experiences, their current situation in life, their religious beliefs and their system of values. And a lot depends on their expectations for the season.
A lot of people look forward to Christmas because they have happy memories from the past. If they come from a close-knit family and Christmas was a special time of the year, they’re likely to continue having positive feelings about Christmas for years to come unless, that us, something happens to change this.
Some people aren’t feeling that happy in their current lives but they have fond memories of past holiday seasons. Some of these people might start to see Christmas as this magical time of year that’s supposed to fix everything in their lives.
They develop overly-high expectations of the season and they put pressure on themselves and their loved ones to make it “perfect” to compensate for what’s not going well for them the rest of the year. This is almost always a recipe for disaster.
For example, someone might be not feeling fulfilled in their career and they’re waiting for a marriage proposal at Christmas to boost their flagging self-esteem. If it doesn’t happen – perhaps because their partner has other ideas for when and how they’d like to propose – this person might become so upset that they have a quiet tantrum and ruin Christmas for their partner and family alike.
Some people might have had bad experiences in past holiday seasons, either with difficult family members, or because of poverty or family hardships – and they might be afraid that this year, it’s going to be more of the same. Depending on how Christmas happened to go this year, they might be feeling relieved now or perhaps they’re looking forward to next year’s Christmas.
People who grew up in a dysfunctional family might dread the holidays because it reminds them of the arguments and disappointments of family Christmases in the past. But, if they’re able to create new, positive traditions with their family and friends today, it can transform their notion of Christmas from a stressful occasion to a happy time of the year.
Some people have experienced a past loss or tragedy that happened to coincide with the holiday season. If someone has lost a loved one, had their house robbed, or went through a painful divorce around Christmas, this could negatively color their feelings about all their future Christmases.
If things went particularly well over this year’s holidays, they might just start to be more optimistic about Christmas in the future. If they spent the holidays feeling miserable, though, Christmas will likely become a stark reminder of their loss and they could end up dreading the season for years to come.
Some people have a problem with the commercial aspects of Christmas. They’re aggravated by the decorations and the constant music in the stores, the jam-ups in shopping mall parking lots and the expectations of Secret Santa gift exchanges at work. They’re one group that feels great relief when the holiday season is behind them.
Some people aren’t excited about Christmas because they don’t participate in it. People from non-Christian religious groups can feel left out or uncomfortable during the holiday season, especially if they’re constantly being wished a “Merry Christmas.” They can feel relieved when it’s all over and things return to normal.
Of course, it’s different for everyone. When I was a kid, my Hindu friend’s parents would put up a tree every year and everyone would exchange presents. They celebrated Christmas as a secular family holiday. I also know several Jewish families who really get into celebrating Chanukah every year and who are totally indifferent to Christmas. Other Jewish families make a tradition of going out for Chinese food on Christmas eve.
So, maybe you’re basking in the warm fuzzies from another wonderful Christmas spent with family and friends or you’re feeling aggravated from having been cooped up for days with impossible relatives. Perhaps you’re frustrated that this Christmas your partner didn’t put a ring on it or maybe you’re super-relieved that the holiday circus is finally over. Maybe you’re asking yourself, “Christmas? When was that?” Whichever category you fall into, I’m sure you can agree that this is a very interesting and contradictory time of the year.
However your Christmas went, or if Christmas wasn’t even on your radar, I hope that the New Year brings you and your loved ones health, happiness and success and as always, plenty of opportunities for learning and growth.
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