Does “Bachelor” mean “bad choices”?

The recent season of the Bachelor just concluded and my take-away from the entire fiasco – because it was, indeed, a fiasco – was that it seems impossible for the Bachelors and Bachelorettes to exhibit good judgment while appearing on the show.

I can’t imagine that the producers deliberately seek out unintelligent people. I’m guessing that it’s the particular circumstances of the show which create a sort of mental vacuum into which all the brains of the contestants are sucked.

This season, I watched in dismay as the Bachelor, Peter Weber, sent home some amazing women, leaving himself with the final three: a devout Christian – Madison, a troubled young woman – Victoria F., and a rather inexperienced young woman – Hannah Ann.

Everyone watching the show must have been shaking their heads as Peter kept Victoria F. around while sending home Kelley, who appeared far more fun, stable and sensible. We were horrified when he brought back the devious and manipulative Alayah, and a much nicer, more sincere woman – Victoria P., ended up being sent home over the fallout from that.

It was confusing when he sent home Natasha, who was smart, beautiful and drama-free, and no-one could figure out why he jettisoned Sydney, who seemed like a perfectly lovely and thoughtful young woman.

What was Peter thinking?

It seemed like Peter was going for the drama with most of his choices, or he was choosing the youngest, most naïve women in the group. Madison was 22 and Hanna-Ann was 23 at the time of taping. Peter was 27 when the show began and could have easily chosen someone closer to his own age.

Peter kept making terrible choices through the entirety of the show and his mistakes only got worse as the season neared its end. He seemed madly in love with Madison, but when she let him know that her strong faith made it impossible for her to continue a relationship with Peter if he slept with the other women during fantasy suite week, he carried on as though nothing had been said.

Last season, when Luke P. told Hannah Brown the same thing, she sent him packing immediately. At least Hannah B. made a clear decision. Peter, on the other hand, chose to ignore Madison’s statement and then afterwards when naturally, she was upset, Peter appeared confused – as though he hadn’t been listening to her when she’d told him that this was her number one deal-breaker. What part of “I couldn’t live with this” did he not understand?

Some people might have a problem with what Madison told Peter. I think that here is where her judgment might have been impaired. She’s a devout Christian, saving herself for marriage, so going on a dating show renowned for its fantasy suite was probably not the best choice for her. Madison should have considered this aspect of the show before choosing to be a participant.

Peter Weber: The master of bad choices

Having said that, Peter should have handled the situation with Madison a lot differently. Either he could have told her that he intended to sleep with the other women and give her the option of leaving then and there, or he could have made the sacrifice and foregone the sex if he really wanted to give his relationship with Madison a shot. What he did instead was short-sighted, selfish and unnecessary, since Madison was clearly the one he wanted all along.

And this brings us to Peter’s egregious behavior toward Hannah-Ann. He was clearly devastated after Madison left. It’s understandable that when faced with this loss, he also didn’t want to lose Hannah-Ann but equally, he was in no position to be proposing to her two days later.

If Peter was still processing the loss of Madison, he could have done the right thing and risked speaking to Hannah-Ann – a point she rightly confronted him on, in their encounter during the final show.

Instead of proposing to Hannah-Ann, Peter had two choices. He could have acknowledged to himself that she wasn’t his person and ended it with her right then, or he could have told her that he’d like to continue dating and see where things led. What Peter shouldn’t have done was set up Hannah-Ann for heartbreak one month later. Selfishly, though, he chose to hedge his bets.

Hannah-Ann: Too young to play the game

Being so inexperienced, Hannah-Ann was unprepared for Peter’s gamesmanship. She admitted in the final show that she’d sensed something was off, even during the proposal, but her youthful enthusiasm made it impossible for her to protect herself from Peter’s hurtful actions.

Perhaps I’m blaming the show too much. Perhaps Peter Weber is just a tool. Perhaps he’d make the same selfish, stupid mistakes in real life. Perhaps Hannah Brown sensed this about him when she sent him away – although that doesn’t explain why she kept the truly awful Luke P. around for so long.

After having watched the last two seasons of this franchise, I do wonder whether the circumstances around being the Bachelor/Bachelorette make it impossible to intelligently choose who to keep around and who to send home.

Barbara Weber: Getting a bad rap for being a good Mom

Now, Peter’s mother is devastated by his broken engagement with Hannah-Ann, who turns out to be an articulate, intelligent young woman likely to go far in life. Peter is pursuing a relationship with Madison, who at least temporarily, has relented from her previously uncompromising position. And Peter’s mom is right to be concerned.

Barbara Weber understands that Peter and Madison are fundamentally incompatible. She’s probably waiting for the other shoe to drop. Like her, I’m unconvinced that Madison will ultimately be able to forgive Peter for ignoring her pleas not to have sex with the other women. Her trust in him was broken and she may find it difficult to truly trust him, moving forward. Also, her faith is too important to her, and if being with Peter is forcing her to compromise her values, she’s likely to become increasingly unhappy with him.

It’s also unlikely that Peter would be able to make all the compromises that being in a relationship with Madison would require. He seems too selfish and immature to do that. Sure, they’re highly infatuated with one-another, but that’s not the basis of a stable, long-term relationship, and Peter’s mother knows it. When Barbara said that her son “has to fail, to succeed,” she wasn’t kidding.

How long ’til Peter and Madison part ways?

I’m waiting for the news that Peter and Madison have gone their separate ways. I don’t think the wait will be long. That would make two seasons in a row of the franchise with no final love match.

Perhaps the producers need to rethink the format. Perhaps they need choose better contestants for the show. All the bad choices make for good drama on TV, but these are real young people experiencing real heartbreak, and that’s unfortunate collateral damage in the pursuit of better ratings.

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