10 More Life Hacks For the “New Normal” in the Pandemic

We’re all feeling stressed, scared and lonely these days, but the one advantage of all the quiet time at home is that we have an amazing opportunity to reflect on ourselves and our lives and make some meaningful adjustments to the way we think and the way we do things.

In Part One of this blog, I discussed the first 10 life hacks that will empower you to be your best self and live your best life.

Here are 10 more essential life hacks to adopt in the pandemic:

1. Never be afraid to assert your needs, feelings or limits. When expressing yourself, be brief and be clear. In this way, you can be sure that if they refuse to respect what you’re saying it’s not because you didn’t say it clearly, but rather, because they aren’t interested in accommodating your feelings or your needs. And by the way, asking for help is not a sign of weakness; it’s a sign that you’re a normal human being.

2. You are responsible for your own happiness and fulfillment. If you’re lonely, reach out to people. If you’re bored, start a project. If your life feels empty, do good things for others. Stop blaming your situation or other people for your unhappiness. You have the power to create a better life for yourself right now.

3. Forgive sometimes, let go always. You don’t have to forgive other people for what they did but you always need to let go. Forgiveness is something that should be earned by the person who wronged you, but you can always let go of your pain and anger so that they don’t get to keep hurting you.

4. Guilt is a manufactured emotion. It’s not something you’re born with. It’s taught to you by selfish, uncaring people who want to control you so that you do what they want. If you’re consumed by guilt, it could be that you’ve been successfully manipulated by someone else.

5. You don’t owe your parents anything. They chose to have you and how they treated you will be the deciding factor in your feelings about them and the nature of your relationship with them. For that matter, you don’t owe anyone anything other than basic courtesy and respect and if they’re abusive, you don’t even owe them that.

6. Intimacy is not a licence for abuse. Just because someone is a romantic partner or a family member, it doesn’t give them the right to hurt you. No-one is allowed to behave hurtfully toward you, regardless of the nature of your relationship.

7. Face the truth about your abuser. People get killed by their partner or ex-partner because they’re in denial about this person’s capacity for harm. It might be upsetting to acknowledge how dangerous the person you love(d) might be, but it could save your life. Never underestimate an abusive person’s capacity for violent behavior.

8. Your dysfunctional defense mechanisms will always backfire. a) Denial, because if you refuse to see something, you’re never empowered to deal with it; b) Magical Thinking, because when you choose to believe that things are the way you wish they were, as opposed to facing the truth about how they actually are, you end up making really bad decisions; c) Avoidance, because when you refuse to deal with something you never solve your problems and you never get the opportunity to build your confidence by doing, learning and accomplishing things, and d) Rigidity, because holding on to counter-productive expectations, beliefs, attitudes and behaviours will keep you stuck in your life and perpetuate your suffering.

9. Self-love is not egoism and self-care is not selfishness. You are absolutely entitled to both. In fact, it’s your sacred duty to yourself. The narcissists in your life, however, will gaslight you to stop you from loving and caring for yourself.

10. Healthy confrontation is a good thing. It gives you an opportunity to see how reasonable, respectful and caring the other person is. If you politely tell them that you’re unhappy with something they did or said, and/or if you ask them to do something for you, the way they respond will tell you everything you need to know about them. If they get defensive, deny their actions, minimize your feelings or call you names, they’ve just shown you exactly who they are. If they make excuses for why they “can’t” give you what you need, they’ve just shown you exactly who they are. Anything other than respecting your limits and meeting your needs is evidence that this person is not someone who you should be associating with.

Check out my article for 10 more life hacks for the “new normal” in this pandemic.

Subscribe to my YouTube Channel where you’ll learn simple tips for taking the best care of yourself and your loved ones.

Tune in to my Ruthless Compassion Podcast where I go in-depth about topics like mental health, trauma, and loneliness.