Are you one of those people who are afraid of love? Who fear being mistreated, neglected, rejected? If so, you should know that these fears come from experiences you had in the past, either with your family of origin or with people you were romantically involved with.
It’s so easy to project your past experiences into the present and then expect people in your present-day life to be like those who hurt or disappointed you in the past.
What you need to see is that what happened in the past is in the past, and present-day people should be taken for who they are. There’s no reason why they should be like those who were hurtful to you in the past.
Also, if they do happen to be similar to hurtful people from your past, you should know that you’re not stuck with them. You’re free to walk away from them if you need to, and look to meet someone who’s loving and kind to you.
The other reason for fear of love is the belief that the pain of disappointment, frustration, loss or rejection will be overwhelming. That’s not true.
As a child, you were small and helpless, so any upsets seemed overwhelming. Today, you’re a strong, resilient adult who is capable of handling what love might bring.
If you’ve had bad experiences with love in the past, it might be because you were unconsciously choosing partners who were similar to those who you grew up with and who hurt you as a child.
Instead of believing that all prospective partners are going to be hurtful, you can make better choices in the present, paying close attention to what the person you’re with is like and dealing with any red flags as soon as they arise.
When you trust yourself to take care of yourself, when you understand that not everyone is likely to hurt or disappoint you, and when you see that you’re strong enough to handle anything that comes up in your relationship, you don’t have to be afraid of love.
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