Good-bye to my dear Sweetface:
On May 10th I said good-bye to my beloved cat Sweetface. She was only twelve years old, but she had been diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer in March 2020, just when the lock-down began.
I spent fourteen months caring for Sweetface, worrying about her, and dreading the day when she’d be gone. Now, I’m grieving her loss and looking back on the experience.
The lock-down changed everything. I went from working in my downstairs office all day to spending all my time upstairs. Sweetface, who’d been used to seeing me for brief moments during the day, quickly became accustomed to having me around all the time.
It got so that if I went out even for a short while, she’d run up to me when I got back home, meowing accusingly, as if to say, “Where have you been? Why did you leave me?” I always gave her a good cuddle, happy to be home again and able to spend as much time as possible with her, during her last months.
Pets have been a great source of help through the pandemic:
During the Covid-19 pandemic, people have turned to their pets for comfort and companionship more than ever. With the social distancing brought about by repeated lock-downs, having a pet could mean the difference between tolerable isolation and agonizing loneliness.
Pets are good for our health:
Multiple studies have shown that having a pet is good for our health. They help us, physically and cognitively. During the pandemic, having pets can boost immunity and decrease our risk for anxiety and depression.
I’ve appreciated my pets these past fourteen months, especially my Sweetface, who was a remarkable animal. I’ve been doing cat rescue work for over fifteen years and Sweetface was one of a kind.
I hadn’t planned on taking in any of the cats I had been caring for outside, but in 2010, Sweetface took a liking to me and decided that we had to be friends. First, she started cuddling with me on my porch steps. Then, in 2011, she walked right into the house.
Once I saw that she got along with Beny, my Yorkie, we were good to go. Sweetface amazed me in the way she bonded with Beny. They became fast friends, and that friendship never wavered until Beny passed away in 2015 at age 14.
Welcome Pixie:
Six months after I lost Beny, on Valentine’s day, 2016, I found a tiny cat named Pixie curled up on my front porch. She was freezing and badly injured from a fight. She’d been a pet – indicated by her pink collar and name tag – but the phone numbers on her tag and microchip were no longer in service.
I nursed her back to health and when I saw how she and Sweetface were bonding, it was clear that Pixie had to stay. Ever since then, the two of them were the best of friends, always curling up together, grooming one-another and eating side-by-side.
I worried about how Pixie would react, once her best friend was gone, but she seemed to know how sick Sweetface was. They’d been spending a lot more time together in the weeks prior to her loss. So far, Pixie is doing okay and of course, she’s getting lots of extra TLC.
Sweetface was an unusual cat. Whereas my other cats would stroll casually through the house, she would run into the room when I was doing morning yoga, as if to say, “Oh, there you are!” She would cuddle and kiss me and walk all over me as I did my different postures. Who needs goat yoga when you’ve got a cat like Sweetface?
When I was writing, Sweetface would lie next to me, or she’d come and walk across my keyboard, reminding me to pay attention to her and not just the monitor. She was a source of endless amusement.
Terrible news:
On March 16th, 2021, Sweetface’s chest X-ray showed that her lungs were full of cancer. The vet couldn’t believe how she was still breathing. I was prepared for the worst, but my darling cat held out for six more weeks.
I was devastated by the news, and I didn’t know how I’d cope. I reached out to a long-time mentor who suggested that I put aside my own feelings for the time being, and focus on making Sweetface happy. I’d have plenty of time to be sad, once she was gone.
I internalized that wise advice and Sweetface’s last six weeks were filled with joy. She was petted and pampered, and I kept a smile on my face the whole time. Sweetface was happy, right up until the end.
I dreaded having to say good-bye, but her welfare came before my needs. The weekend before she had to be put down, her breathing was becoming more and more strained. The vet had said that things could take a turn for the worse at any moment, and there was no way I’d wait and risk my beloved going into respiratory distress.
The vet came to the house on Monday morning, May 10th. Sweetface sat on my bed, purring contentedly in a patch of sunlight – just the way she liked it. I sang to her and petted her and the end, although heartbreaking, was loving and peaceful.
Over the past fourteen months, I was reminded every day that giving and receiving love is the best thing in life and that it doesn’t matter if it’s with a person or a pet. I also learned that it’s easy to temporarily put aside my own feelings when someone else’s needs are more important.
Unconditional love:
Pets love unconditionally. They love us when we’re grumpy and when we’re petty; when we’re indulging in our worst habits and when we don’t know how to love ourselves. Pets love enthusiastically and without restraint. Sweetface would purr this high-pitched, ecstatic purr when we cuddled and she was in her bliss.
Unconditional love is a rare gift. It’s straightforward and uncomplicated. It can elicit the very best in us so that we can be the highest versions of ourselves. It enables us to rise to the occasion, doing what’s best for the ones we love, regardless of our own desires.
Caring for Sweetface in her last days showed me the value of unconditional pet-love and how I could be the best version of myself, for her. As grief-stricken as I feel right now, there’s also a sense of peace, because I know that I did everything possible for her over the past fourteen months, and that it was all inspired by the love we shared.
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