The fourth wave is tough on younger kids—and their parents:

As the fourth wave of the pandemic descends this autumn on parts of Canada and the United States, parents of young children are left not knowing how to deal with their increasingly frustrated younger kids. What are they supposed to tell their six-year-olds and ten-year-olds who won’t be going to schoolmate’s birthday parties or attending family gatherings over the holidays?

How are parents supposed to deal with younger kids who are upset that they can’t play team sports or do their beloved extra-curricular activities? They want to keep their children safe but they hate seeing the disappointment in their little ones’ eyes.

I have two suggestions for what parents can do. They need to focus on both the practical and on the psychological. Let’s start with the practical.

Parents can do their best to create positive experiences for their young children. They can make birthday parties within their family unit or have online parties where everyone connects from the safety of their own home. Parents can take their children out on walks to see the fall foliage or they can go on bike rides in the park.

Parents can do arts and crafts projects with their young children, focusing on different fall themes. If they live in houses, they can get the kids to help rake up the leaves and then have fun jumping into the raked-up piles of leaves. For apartment-dwellers, parents can take their kids to a nearby green space and collect the prettiest leaves to take home and press in a book.

Honesty is good for children’s mental health:

Now let’s talk about the psychological piece. These are difficult times. There’s no denying that. Parents need to know that there’s nothing wrong with being honest with their kids and telling them the truth. Honest discussions about what’s going on is beneficial to children’s mental health.

But parents can also reassure their children that like all difficult times, this challenging period will eventually pass. They can tell their children that good times are coming—they just have to be patient, and soon, better times will arrive.

We’ve lived in unusually peaceful and prosperous times for many decades. Not that long ago, World War II brought hardship and even devastation to many people around the world. In the post-war era, we’ve begun to assume that there would be no more bad times. That was a bit of magical thinking.

This period in our lives is an opportunity to teach our children that life has good times and bad times, whether personally or globally. Children need to learn that sometimes, things will be fun and easy, and other times, they’ll be difficult and not so fun. Kids need to learn to tolerate the difficult times and understand that as tough as they might be, they won’t last forever.

Kids can learn how to make lemons into lemonade:

As the fourth wave arrives, parents have a unique opportunity to show their children how to be resilient in the face of hardship; how to make lemonade out of lemons. One of the best ways to be resilient is to gain perspective. Understanding that one’s own situation is not as bad as someone else’s is a great way to do that.

Parents can have their young kids participate in food drives or be involved in other ways to help those who are even harder hit by the pandemic. When children help those who are struggling even more than they are, they feel more empowered and they understand that they have some things to be grateful for.

In an era when many parents want to protect their children from any and every type of adversity, the pandemic is an opportunity to demonstrate to children that adversity is a natural part of life and something to be faced with courage, positivity, and fortitude.

Parents can help their young ones develop the “grit” that will benefit them in their adult lives. They can show their kids that disappointment and frustration are as much a part of normal life as are fun and ease. Parents can help their children develop the confidence within themselves that they can get through difficult times with their sense of humour and their optimism intact.

Overprotecting your kids isn’t helping them:

Life can be hard sometimes, and the pandemic–especially the fourth wave—shows us this, up close and personal. There can be loss, heartbreak, disappointment, and frustration. It’s natural for parents to want to shield their kids from hurt, but too much shielding can result in kids who won’t be capable of tolerating any difficulties as adults.

Every adult needs to know how to weather a storm and cope with loss, failure, disappointment, and hurt. Every time we get through a challenge, it strengthens us and prepares us for the next challenge, around the bend.

Resilience is being able to see the  opportunities for learning and growth in every difficulty, and parents can do this now, even with their younger children.

Of course, no one should be scaring their kids unnecessarily, and younger ones only need to know the details that are relevant to their stage of development and to their particular personality, but understanding the truth about the pandemic is not too much for kids today. They are smart and strong and we need to give them credit for their capacity to tolerate tough truths and tough times.

When we believe in our kids, they end up believing in themselves and in their own ability to handle whatever challenges life throws at them. We can’t control what is happening to us but we can choose to use the difficulties we face in the most positive way, possible.

_____

Sign up here for my free biweekly wellness newsletter that brings you fresh, thought-provoking content.

Subscribe to my YouTube Channel where you’ll learn simple tips for taking the best care of yourself and your loved ones.

Tune in to my Ruthless Compassion Podcast where I go in-depth about topics like mental health, trauma, and loneliness.