Holiday season is around the corner and for many people there’s a lot to look forward to. For some, however, the holidays bring unwanted stress and this can be very much the case for people who’ll be alone over the holidays.
Facing the holiday season on your own can be a highly unpleasant prospect. Whatever the reason you find yourself flying solo over the holidays, it’s hard not to think that everyone else is celebrating with friends and family. You can’t help imagining that you’re the only person who’s this alone.
The truth is that a lot of people are struggling over the holiday season, and not just those who find themselves alone. The holidays bring up stress for many of us; in the expectations we have of ourselves and of each-other and in the disappointments we face when these expectations aren’t met.
The holidays are supposed to be a time of plenty, when we give thanks for all that we’ve got. For people who don’t have any particular social plans for the holidays it can feel like a long, painful season filled with constant reminders of the friends or family they haven’t got.
The good news is that no-one has to be alone, either over the holidays or at any other time of the year. If you’ve had enough of being alone for the holidays, things can start to change this very season.
The secret to never again being alone for the holidays is to make genuine connections, and the way to do this is to focus on the love you’re giving, not the love you’re hoping to receive.
If you happen to find yourself alone this holiday season, here are some specific things that you can do to start making great new connections. This way, you can start to cure the lonesome blues for this season and for all the holiday seasons to come.
The first thing to do is reach out to your elderly neighbors. As lonely as you might feel, there’s always someone close by who’s more isolated than you. Your friends and family might be scattered far and wide, but your neighbor might have it worse than you.
You can spend some time visiting this neighbor and even run an errand or two for them. Maybe you could pick up some groceries or even cook them a meal. This will mean a lot to someone who’s isolated and who struggles to get out. They’ll appreciate your efforts and in the process you’ll get to know someone new.
It’s amazing the stories an older person has to tell. They have a wealth of fascinating life experiences. You’ll be learning about this amazing new person and all of a sudden, you’ll find that you’re not feeling so alone.
Another thing you can do this holiday season is become a volunteer. You might be feeling sad that you’re bumping around alone in your home but at least you have a home to bump around in.
Instead of feeling bad, you can go and help out at a soup kitchen or a shelter, cooking and serving meals for the homeless. In the process, you’ll meet the other volunteers, who are likely to be generous, caring people. Suddenly, you’re surrounded by a group of new friends.
Another thing that you can do if you’re anticipating a lonely holiday season is to take up social activism. You can join an anti-poverty group; one that fights for the rights of the disenfranchised, or one that does outreach to the homeless.
You might find yourself driving around with another community activist, handing out hats and gloves to people on the streets. You’ll be doing a service for members of your community and at the same time, you’ll have an opportunity to bond with someone whose heart is in the right place.
We can be upset about not having anyone to spend the holidays with; we can feel sorry for ourselves and envy those who we see as having “more,” or we can put things in perspective and remember that many people have a lot less than we do.
When we worry less about ourselves and think more about others, we develop compassion. Our hearts begin to open and we start to feel better.
Thinking about other people gets us involved in positive activities, and when we’re doing good things we meet the kinds of people who we’d want as our friends. The great news is that when we’re involved in positive activities, our fellow volunteers and social activists will also want to get to know us.
If you’re sitting alone in your home feeling bad because you’re alone for the holidays, nothing good is going to come of it. When you get out and do for others you’re already happier, because it feels good to be kind.
Study after study has shown that giving makes you feel better than receiving. And I’d add that interacting with kind, caring, generous people who are giving alongside of you is always going to be a positive experience, whether you’re serving up soup or singing carols at the hospital.
It feels good to give from your heart. You’ll be uplifted by doing these acts of kindness and also, kind people will always welcome in another caring individual. There’s always going to be a place for you in these groups. You’ll have instant community if you get involved in doing good for others.
No-one has to be alone over the holidays. Reach out to others and it’s a win all around. The people you’re helping will benefit; you’ll feel better because you’re giving from the heart, and you’ll be meeting great new people in the process. If you give love, you’ll feel love, and that’s the best way I know to cure the lonesome holiday blues.
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