We make a lot of bad choices in our lives. Sometimes, we make these choices because we don’t care to do better. This type of person isn’t going to do any better, precisely because they don’t care.
The rest of us who make choices that are counter-productive or even destructive are doing so because of our emotional wounds. The wounded child within our psyche is either acting out in anger or pursuing inappropriate options for self-soothing, self-nurturing and self-healing.
If we want to change our lives, if we want to live the best life possible for us, we have to start making better choices.
In order to do this, we have to start by forgiving ourselves for the bad choices we’ve been making.
This doesn’t mean that we see these choices as OK; it means that we see ourselves as OK and the choices as erroneous.
When we forgive ourselves for the choices we’ve made as a result of our wounds, we can break the vicious circle that happens when we react to our bad choices with further bad choices.
Too often, we feel guilt, shame or self-blame when we’ve acted out in anger, been irresponsible or pursued our addictions. This negativity toward ourselves only propels us toward further inappropriate choices, as we turn to dysfunctional coping strategies for dealing with the shame, etc.
When we can forgive ourselves for the bad choices we’ve made, and see that the choices may be bad but we aren’t, we can begin to heal our wounds and make better choices- choices made out of self-compassion, self-acceptance and self-love.
In my summer retreat (July 28-August 1) in Hockley Valley Ontario, we’ll explore the choices people have been making that aren’t working for them, and offer simple, user-friendly tools for letting go of the bad choices and adopting new ones that will lead to happiness and success.
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