I’ve been thinking about the 12-step program for some time, now.

I’ve worked with many addicts over the years, and it’s pretty clear to me that while the 12-step program might be helpful in supporting abstinence for a small few who are already strongly motivated, it appears to be very limited in how much it can actually help people.

When you look for statistics on the success rates of 12-step programs, the amount of conflicting reporting makes me very suspicious. Proponents of the 12-step program say that 33-50% achieve abstinence from their addiction of choice and maintain it over 5-10 years, while critics of the program cite the recovery rate at perhaps closer to 5%.

What I do know is that even when an addict attends a 12-step program and is able to maintain abstinence from their addiction of choice, be it alcohol, drugs, gambling, shopping or food, they aren’t cured of the urges or impulses that drove them to be addicted in the first place.

In my work with addicts of all types, the common factor driving their addiction(s) is painful childhood events. Whether they’ve been neglected, abused, exploited or traumatized, the emotional wounds caused by these events linger into adulthood and cause the individual long-term suffering.

These wounds can manifest as low self-esteem, anxiety, phobias, depression, interpersonal and work difficulties, distorted perceptions, paranoia, inappropriate anger, feelings of emptiness, obsessive thinking and self-destructive behaviors.

I see addictions as one way that an emotionally wounded person seeks out some sort of soothing, healing or distraction in relation to their wound(s).

The addict most likely isn’t conscious that they’re carrying emotional wounds from their childhood, and they certainly don’t recognize their addiction as an attempt at resolving these wounds, but the need for emotional healing is so powerful that it drives them to seek out activities and/or substances that appear to do the trick.

Alcohol is calming and soothing and it silences the negative self-talk; drugs put a person in an altered, dreamy state of consciousness in which their anxieties and dark moods seem to float away; shopping feels fulfilling and stimulating; gambling is exciting and rewarding; overeating is comforting, fulfilling and numbing, all at the same time.

When we see addictions as a misguided solution to the unhealed wounds that linger from painful childhood experiences, it gives us a different way to conceptualize a cure to addiction: directly address these wounds.

The 12-step programs are behavioral in nature. They don’t go to the deeper level of emotional wounds and address the real cause of addictions. The program focuses more on group support, will power, and taking it “one day at a time.”

It’s clear to me that the reason “one day at a time” is stressed as a coping strategy is that the people participating in the program continue to have strong cravings for their addiction, long after they’ve achieved “sobriety.”

I’ve noticed that a lot of individuals who’ve supposedly achieved sobriety are now obsessively focused on remaining sober and compulsive in their behaviors around avoiding their addiction of choice.

For example, a previous over-eater who now thinks constantly about how many calories they’re ingesting and how much they weigh, and stands on the scale three times a day and measures out each portion of food to the fraction of an ounce. This obsessive thinking and compulsive behavior is as much an addiction as their former habit(s).

I’ve also witnessed innumerable instances of a person achieving abstinence from one addiction, only to transfer their addiction to another substance or activity. This transference of addictions is inevitable, if the emotional wounds that drive the addiction aren’t being dealt with, as the wounds are still calling out for healing.

Ex-alcoholics turn to smoking cigarettes or compulsive spending; former over-eaters become gamblers or compulsive coffee drinkers; ex-heroin addicts turn to marijuana or alcohol. And so on.

To me, sobriety shouldn’t be classified as abstinence; we should consider it achieved only when the addict loses their cravings for all addictive substances or activities.

Of course, this isn’t possible with the 12-step approach to overcoming addiction. It’s only going to happen if the addicted individual looks deep within at the emotional wounds driving their behavior. When they can go through a process of healing their wounds, the urges to compensate through addiction will fade away.

The 12-step philosophy has become almost a cult for some. Proponents can be fanatical in their devotion to the bible of AA, the “Big Book.” I’ve witnessed participants of 12-step programs being as compulsive in attending their meetings as they once were in purchasing and imbibing alcohol.

Going to meetings, reading the book and “working the program” can become their new addiction, and sadly, will be just as ineffective in healing the emotional wounds driving their addiction as the addiction itself was.

From where I sit, the 12-step program, although considered the gold standard for treatment of addiction, is deeply inadequate. At best, an individual will spend their life struggling to overcome unbearable cravings every day of their life. At worse, they’ll suffer relapses, experience the transfer of addictions or never achieve lasting sobriety.

To me, the only viable approach to the growing problem of addiction is to move away from the over-valued 12-step program. We must explore the real cause of addition, and tailor our treatment to healing the emotional wounds caused by painful childhood experiences.

I’m sure that I’m going to hear a lot from those who believe in the 12-step program. I hope as well to hear from those who have experience with the program’s limitations.

For those who are interested, my book, Emotional Overeating: Know the Triggers, Heal Your Mind and Never Diet Again expands on the above ideas, and shows how you can heal overeating (and all other addictions) through my 4-pronged approach to overcoming addition.

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